Dan Antopolski - the UK's funniest man?

Stick with this story and we will tell you Dan Antopolski’s two funniest jokes.

They are so hilarious that one got the award for ‘Funniest joke’ at this year’s Edinburgh Festival. So worth waiting for I think. But first Dan wants us to tell you about something altogether more serious – Friends of the Earth’s Food Chain campaign.

It’s a little known fact that:

• Livestock production is responsible for 18% of global greenhouse gas emissions, more than all the planes, cars and lorries on the planet.
• On current trends, animal feed production and cattle ranching alone and will destroy 40% of the Amazon rainforest by 2050.

The focus of the Food Chain campaign is that intensively farmed cattle are mostly fed on soy grown in South America. This leads to the clearing of rainforest, ‘land grabbing’ (the taking of land by force), widespread use of harmful pesticides and accelerated climate change.

Friends of the Earth says it doesn’t have to be this way. UK farmers have little choice but to buy the cheapest feed for their animals which gives them the best return in terms of fast growth. This is because supermarkets are constantly forcing down the price of meat and dairy products to levels which do not even cover the farmers’ costs of production.

But we could continue to eat meat and dairy but without this huge cost to the environment (although if you eat a lot of meat, cutting down will help). Instead of subsidising these intensive farming methods, the Government could reward more sustainable farming. Supermarkets could be regulated to stop them from forcing farmers into a corner and livestock do not have to eat South American soy. Instead, they could more locally produced stuff, like peas, beans, fodder and – shock, horror – grass.

So what can we do about it? Two completely painless things for a start. Firstly, you can send a quick email to show your support for Friends of the Earth campaign. Just go to www.fixthefoodchain.com

Secondly, you can go and laugh your chops off at the LIVEstock concert, featuring some of the UK’s top comedians including Dan, Stephen Merchant, Russell Howard, Marcus Brigstocke and Lucy Porter. And an appearance by fab band Razorlight is the icing on the cake. Make a date for Thursday 12 November at Hammersmith Apollo. More here.

Now back to those jokes we promised you. Dan spoke to daisygreenmagazine.co.uk to tell us why he supports the Food Chain campaign and why his funniest joke trophy is shaped like an elephant.

What can we expect from you at LIVEstock? Are you going to make factory farming funny?

People can expect to see an amazing night of comedy and music and to feel good about supporting Friends of the Earth. There’s no reason why comedians shouldn’t do what they do best without changing their act, but have that linked to a serious message.

There’s loads of green campaigns out there. What made you want to support LIVEstock?

No one talks about the fact that the meat and dairy industry produces more climate-changing emissions than all the planes, trains and automobiles on the planet. Friends of the Earth is calling for some big changes to our farming system so that we can carry on eating meat and dairy without it trashing the rainforests.

Becoming a father five years ago made me more interested in making concrete changes to help the planet – there’s no reason we can’t feed our livestock with food grown locally, so drastic lifestyle changes are not required! It’s an achievable, practical way to help the planet.

How do you feel about winning the Edinburgh Festival award for the ‘Funniest joke on the fringe’ and why was the trophy shaped like an elephant?

Like Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, I am humbled at my recent award but I accept it on behalf of comics writing animal jokes everywhere and in the hope that more animal jokes can be written in the future. The elephant award has huge ears and this puts one in mind of Obama again. I only hope that expectations that my administration will come up with more and funnier animal jokes do not become a political albatross.

What’s your second funniest joke?*

I read in the news that there’s a civil war in Madagascar – but I’ve watched it about six times – there isn’t!

Give us one good reason why we should buy tickets for LIVEstock.

Even Scrooge wants tickets to this event – an unrepeatable bill of Britain’s finest comedy talent in a fantastic venue. And Razorlight to close the show. A classic night of entertainment with a bonus of ethical benefits!

*Dan’s first funniest joke: Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?